#TATTLETALE TOYS HOW TO#

It does a nice job of emphasizing that, if danger is involved and someone is at risk of being hurt, you need to tell a trusted adult immediately. One book that I’ve used with success is 'A Bad Case of Tattle Tongue' by Julia Cook. “The purpose of tattling is to get someone INTO trouble, whereas the purpose of telling is to help get or keep someone OUT of trouble. So how do you help them distinguish between “tattling” and “telling?” Dr. Sometimes it’s for attention, sometimes it’s because they don’t have the social-emotional skills necessary to solve the problem they’re facing on their own, and sometimes they are just letting you know that they understand the difference between good and bad behavior and they want to see the bad behavior punished immediately so that all is right in their world again.” She continues: “Children tattle for a lot of different reasons. “So much so that I often include a lesson on tattling in any social skills group I run at the elementary school level.” “Tattling is a very common behavior in early childhood,” explains Danielle Rannazzisi, a child psychologist who practices in New York. About anything.Īnd that is absolutely not the message I want to send. And I’ve grown more than a little concerned that my constant admonishing of her tattling could, in fact, convince her that she should never tell me. I’m willing to bet most kids her age really don’t recognize those distinctions. A friend not sharing a toy probably isn’t a tell-able offense. Yes, in a perfect world, she would be able to recognize the difference between these circumstances. It’s a conversation we’ve started to have nightly. And perhaps more importantly, I don’t want her to be the kind of kid who enjoys getting others in trouble.īut then comes the dilemma: Because at the same time I’m telling my daughter not to tattle, I’m also constantly telling her that she needs to come to me if she’s ever in danger or if anyone ever tries to hurt or touch her.

#TATTLETALE TOYS HOW TO#

I want her to figure out how to manage social relationships on her own, without interference. I can’t even count how many times I tell my little girl to stop being a tattletale in any given week. Because she’s figured out that telling a child’s parent they aren’t playing nicely produces better results. So lately, she’s taken to going to their parents instead. My daughter has learned that coming to me over sharing infractions gets her nowhere - I tell her to find other toys to play with, or to work it out with her friends. The worst of it happens when we’re having play dates with friends.

Tattletale toys